i can tie my shoes all by myself

i have a confession.

September is our first (real) double-income month since August, 2006, and while it's amazing to have a second income (and an increased clothing budget!) i'm feeling all weird about it.

weird in the sense that this really horrible thing happened to us this year, and now we're going to sit back and enjoy having more money than we know what to do with. what's funny to me about the situation is that it's pretty normal for people our age to have two incomes, to own a home, etc., but i feel like we're just so incredibly lucky to be able to participate in that.

truthfully, we're not going to live on both incomes. we'll ramp up our giving to the church and other organizations we feel need help. we'll save more than we ever have before. we'll pay off a student loan or two. we'll actually have a real emergency fund. and of course, we'll probably eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant more often than we already do. i'll get my tooth fixed that's been broken since December.

while i'm looking forward to all of those things, something doesn't feel right. i'm not sure what it is. i think that in the back of my mind, i'm wondering if it's for real. i'm still worrying about money like i did for the past three years, even though it shouldn't be such a stressful event for me anymore.

i'm sure i'll get over it, and yes, it's a good problem to have, but it's just so weird, and it's coming at such a strange time in our lives. i'd love more than anything to be able to spoil my little baby with our extra money, but that won't be happening. i'll just have to find something else to splurge on. maybe i'll find a hobby. maybe i'll pray about it.